Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Many people become defensive when they are being criticized, but the problem is that its perceived effect is blame.
If I need to defend myself, I’m feeling attacked and sometimes guilty. Strangely, most humans carry guilt around all the time, even if there’s nothing to feel guilty about. That quiet, persistent guilt just sits there in the background, infecting how we feel about ourselves, poisoning our communications and sickening our relationships.
This existential guilt accounts for our feelings of self-loathing and why we don’t think we measure up to some bizarre standard we’ve set … we’re never clever enough, slim enough, beautiful enough, wealthy enough, popular enough and on and on.
As we recognise and acknowledge that persistently toxic guilt, we can see that it’s with us but not of us. It’s not true and it’s not going away. It’s a persistent fly buzzing around and we can choose to let it annoy us or we can choose not to react. The fly doesn’t care and nor does the guilt.
Then, sometimes, we let someone down. We forget, we get busy, our priorities change, the unexpected happens and we don’t keep our word. We’re humans, not robots, and we forget, change our minds and are pushed around by the world … then we disappoint someone and another level of guilt kicks in, a transient guilt.
So, it’s healthy to recognise that the persistent guilt won’t go away and it’s difficult to avoid the transient guilt from time to time. That’s part of being human – guilt just is.
What we do have a choice about, however, is how we deal with the guilt or any perceived attacks on us.
We can retaliate with attack or we can stay even. When people throw rocks at us, we can throw them back or we can stack them up, stand on them and become bigger people.
Mahatma Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind”.
The impact on relationships of defensiveness is huge and can push our partners away emotionally and physically. We want to blame the other for our uncomfortable feelings and the alternative to defensiveness (or attack in response to a perceived attack) is to take responsibility for our feelings and actions … to open our eyes, open our hearts and watch the guilt pass by on the road to nowhere. As we do this, we can let perceived slights, insults and judgements go over our shoulders, not up our noses and choose again the words we use.
For example, if someone asks us why we didn’t do something we’d promised to do, we can either say, with defensiveness:
“You know how busy I am and you’ve got nothing to do so I don’t know why you didn’t do it!!!”
Or, with self responsibility:
“Yes, I’m sorry. I should have realised how busy I was and asked you to do it.”
What’s the difference between these replies?
The real difference is that one is about what someone else did wrong (should have done, the lame blame game) and the other is about what we did wrong (the owning-our-stuff, responsibility game).
When we blame, we give the power and discontent to another; we become lame. When we own our actions, there is no discontent to give and only responsibility to take.
Every word, every sentence, every conversation is a choice. And, yes, in a heated moment, it can be difficult to stand square in our true power, our responsibility, and there is always, always, always another chance to put things right. An apology and a restatement is more powerful than a quick put-down.
Like anything we ever learned, it just takes practice, practice and more practice and, soon, there is no need for blame or apologies, there is just responsibility and power. Relationships become stronger, love becomes sweeter and experiences become joyous.
When you feel defensive, what can you do to stop attacking your partner?
If you mess up and attack, what can you do to take responsibility quickly?
When do you attack the most – stressful times, busy times, feeling bored?
There is hope for a relationship that bounces around on defensiveness, so don’t think that all is lost!
Anna Louise & Philip J Bradbury
Like magnets smacking together, positive and negative unable to resist each other, also in relationships. Opposites don’t always attract but they usually do as we seek out – laser-like and accurately – those who fill our empty spaces.
Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Need and other books, coined the terms maximiser and minimiser and so, in opposing and frustrating ways we attract our complement, our nemesis, our annoyer, our completion.
Maximisers are the organisers, the list-makers, the diary keepers. They are the ones who will leave nothing to chance, ensuring every minute of every day and every aspect or every event is accounted for. Some might call them manipulators or control freaks. They’re quick to give advice to others whether it’s welcome or not. However, they are the ones to be depended on for a project or event that requires many people or activities to be brought together. They can be reliable, traditional, controlling and/or impatient.
To the minimiser, all this looks like tiresome and pointless work – planning in a world and a future that’s got its own agenda, despite our best attempts to bend its unlimited will to our petty one.
Minimisers are not lazy, though they may see them as such. Their minds are fully occupied but not in the straight-line, plunging-through-the-chaos way of the maximiser but in a more fluid, loving-the-chaos way.
Unlike their nemesis, minimisers enjoy not having answers, not being certain and trusting in the unassailable truth of the universe and their intuition. Forgetting their notes for an important speech may be a tragedy for the maximiser and a wonderful opportunity for creativity and improvisation to the minimiser.
Maximisers like to give and receive advice but minimisers dislike advice from any source but their intuition and will resist telling others their thoughts.
So, once the gooey-in-love honeymoon period is over, the irksome characteristics of your opposite will arise. Your differences don’t mean that you shouldn’t be together. Rather your differences mean you should stay united for, whoever you’re with now, is who you should be with.
So, how do you reconcile the irreconcilable?
Firstly, recognise that any and all lovers will rub you up the wrong way, one way or another. How else are we to smooth our sharp edges?
Secondly, acknowledge who you are and what blows your hair back … and what drives your partner. Realise that no one has the whole answer, the one true way of doing things. Plans are appropriate sometimes, spontaneity at other times. Pushing is appropriate at times, trusting at other times.
Few people are 100% one way or the other but, whatever your tendency, try being the opposite sometimes.
If you’re the planner, the organiser, try sitting back for a moment, “accidentally” leave the grocery list or map at home and relax into the possibility that your life won’t end right now. In fact, it might exceed your plans. Never miss an opportunity to not give advice and see what happens. Whatever it is, the world will probably keep spinning.
If you’re the minimiser, take a risk and offer some advice, remembering that any reaction to it, good or bad, won’t wreck your relationship. Your maximising mate will appreciate that you stepped forward, however clumsily. Choose a day, at least a week ahead, and plan an event – book a restaurant, a holiday, buy a gift, organise some friends into it. It’s a risk for it’s your plan and not the universe’s – you can’t absolve responsibility to anyone else. However, your maximising partner will be grateful you took their burden for a moment, irrespective of how it turned out.
Like a key and a lock, we have to be different shapes to open the door to possibilities. They won’t happen unless we recognise our partner has to be different from us and we’ll benefit from experimenting with being who we’re not, on occasions.
Are you a minimiser or a maximiser? Here is an overview of both states and some questions to get you on the path of self-awareness and turning things around.
Looks like - Has to be done ‘right now’, can be dramatic, pushy, inappropriate at times, dog with a bone attitude, mostly always the instigator.
Benefits: Things do get done, issues do get dealt with, focused, problem solver, reliable.
Costs: Alienates partner/others, anger, frosty connection, pushes partner/others away, serious about life, stressed.
Looks like – Take their time, laid back, relaxed, less drama, things don’t get done quickly – if at all, rarely instigates.
Benefits: Doesn’t have to do much, let’s others take the lead, less responsibility, can do own thing more often, more relaxed about life, less serious.
Costs: Unreliable, things don’t get done, others tire of taking the lead and lack of initiative, let others down, their word is not believed.
Which one do you think you are?
For the maximiser:
What are the benefits of being this way?
What are the costs?
What is the impact of this on your relationship?
What positive aspects of the minimiser would help you form a new way of being with this?
How do you think you could implement these?
What sort of challenges do you think you will face?
How can you overcome them?
What would be the impact on your relationship if you could overcome them?
For the minimiser:
What are the benefits of being this way?
What are the costs?
What is the impact of this on your relationship?
What positive aspects of the maximiser would help you form a new way of being with this?
How do you think you could implement these?
What sort of challenges do you think you will face?
How can you overcome them?
What would be the impact on your relationship if you could overcome them?
For you both
When would you like to start doing putting this into action?
Anna Louise & Philip J Bradbury
There are a number of key factors that contribute to the breakdown of a relationship and contempt is a big one.
1. Physical contact: At the end of every day when you first see each other, before you do anything else, simply hold each other close and relax for a few seconds. At the very least, kiss each other. This allows for the release of oxytocin, known as the cuddle chemical, which helps strengthen your emotional bonds and increase feelings of trust. When you do this you use your physiology to improve your relationship with little effort on your part. It’s a simple act but it can have profound positive effects. Do this every day.
2. Keep talking – even when you are annoyed with each other: Disagreements often involve a misunderstanding. It’s easy to misinterpret your partner’s silence and imagine what they’re thinking. Guessing what the opposite sex is thinking is a very inaccurate science! Disagreements can be resolved a lot faster by simply communicating with one another. You’ve always got to be open to the possibility that you’re wrong – and be willing to apologise.
3. Have your own hobby: There’s pressure on couples to do every single thing together but it’s important to follow our own interests, as well as doing things together. When you have time away from each other it makes the times you when you do things together all the more special. Conversely, if you do not share any interests together, this can create a rift and the relationship can suffer from lack of quality time together.
4. Be honest: Many relationship breakups occur due to a lack of communication and honesty with each other about various things within the relationship e.g. financial values, habits, goals, expectations, parenting style and other friendships. Honest communication from the start of the relationship is an essential element of trust.
5. Show love, respect and gratitude every day: Take the time every day to tell each other the things you love and appreciate about each other and try to not let a day go by without saying “I love you”.
6. Don’t forget what you were like when you first got together: Remember your partner as they were when you chose to enter into a relationship together. Way back when you were each other’s best friends. Remember who YOU were back then and take the time to be a pleasure to be around. When we put effort into recapturing how it used to be and how we used to be, it has a very positive effect and increases happiness.
7. Let them have a bad day: Learn to allow each other to have a bad day without telling each other to ‘snap out of it’. Mostly your partner’s bad mood isn’t about you and it will pass if you give them some space and support.
8. Learn to resolve disagreements in ways that strengthen your relationship: When you are in a relationship where you feel emotionally and physically safe, you can build trust and mutual respect by trying to see the world through your partner’s eyes, not just your own. This is especially important when you disagree because unresolved conflict can turn toxic. Focus more on how you can contribute to the relationship in a positive way rather than trying to change your partner’s behaviour – that is their responsibility. Remember, you control your own behaviour so choose your words and actions wisely.
9. Be thoughtful: Showing your love isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom. It’s also about the caring little things you do for each other around the house. Taking the time to find out what your partner likes, what makes them feel loved, and making an effort to do it.
10. Don’t be mean: Being mean is like declaring war on your likelihood of staying together. There is nothing to be gained by being mean to your partner, through words or actions. A good relationship has its ups and downs but constant meanness is unacceptable and causes long-term psychological and physical problems.
How are you and your partner doing in these areas? Do you need help to create the relationship you want? Contact me for a free 30 minute session to see how couple coaching can take your relationship to a deeper, more connected level.
When we are close to others it is inevitable that we are going to feel what they feel whether life hands them lemons or lemonade. We feel joy for our family members and friends when a happy relationship develops, they receive a financial windfall, a much longed-for baby arrives, etc. We delight with them as they go through spiritual and personal insights that transform and strengthen them and become an inspiration to us on our own journey. But what happens when they go through the difficult times? A marriage ending, falling out with a loved-one, a suicide attempt, a debilitating illness, becoming homeless … we can be thrown into their pain almost as acutely as if it were our own.
Those who play a major part in our lives, who make up the fabric and the tapestry of our stories, will always experience highs and lows and while we are in the process of becoming detached from ego and living from the place of love, the human dramas continue to be played out all around us. Living from the heart, evolving closer towards who we really are (Love) somehow creates more sensitivity to the vibrations around us. We can no longer ignore the pain of people and the planet; we can no longer dismiss the awful or the incomprehensible. We run the gauntlet of human emotions so intensely that it feels as though we live through four emotional seasons in one day! We can breathe a sigh of relief when we return to the comfort of our own home, be grateful that it’s not happening to us but what do we do with the residue of emotions and having our buttons pushed that have probably been triggered from our own similar experiences?
Firstly, a Mindfulness practice of some kind must be the foundation of moving into a more peaceful way of being. Starting the day with spiritual study, prayer and meditation is food for the soul and it calms the senses. While we all have the choice about how we do that, it is vital that we use something to remind us we are one with All That Is and we connect with that Self and the ancient wisdom still held within our cells when we go into the stillness.
Being able to ‘let it go’ will release us immeasurably. A wonderful book to help with this process is David Hawkins’ Letting Go. In this book you will learn how to be with your emotions safely, acknowledge their presence and then quietly, and without drama, let them go. To deny they are there, to try and suppress or repress them will cause them to come out in our physical bodies as illness of some kind. So learning the great ‘letting go’ art will transform our lives.
Evaluating carefully and with conscious awareness about where to spend emotional and physical energy is also very important. Cancel a planned lunch, ask that friend to arrange for someone else to drive him or her to an appointment, turn the computer/telephone/mobile off and watch an uplifting video/DVD or walk in nature or have a massage. Ask someone for what you need – whether it’s just to talk, have a coffee/juice with, or give you a back rub. All these (and others) will boost us physically and emotionally – and we can choose to do so without guilt.
Looking after ourselves while we are looking after others will keep us focused and available, strong and inspiring. How better to help others than this?
Coming to a crossroads in life can be a painful process. Doesn’t it seem like you are just doing your own thing, minding your own business not hurting anybody and then, Wham! before you know it, there are changes a-foot and major decisions to be made. How did I get here? Why? What do I do next? How do I avoid making a mistake? More importantly, how do I avoid making the same mistake again? Why do I feel so alone? How will I know which is the right path to take next?
Here are some tips on effectively coping with change:
What’s the worst that can happen?
Understanding a change is the important first step to managing it because usually we are scared of change and afraid of the unknown. Try to figure out if the worst that can happen is actually as bad as what you think can happen? Learning about the details of the change can help things feel easier. Remember a time previously where change and decision making was scary and yet it all turned out brilliantly. Sometimes it's not as bad as it may seem at first, and it just takes a little time to get used to.
Celebrate the positives
Focusing on the positives can help you feel better about the change overall. They might not be completely obvious to begin with, and it might also take some time, but it’s worth it.
If the unwanted change is within your control, taking an active approach to coping has been shown to be useful. Try engaging in problem solving or goal setting to proactively address unwanted developments. Focusing on the problem at hand, developing a plan of action, and asking for advice are useful active strategies.
If the unwanted change is beyond your control, take a reflective approach. Accepting that there are things beyond your control and choosing to be comfortable with this is likely to bring greater calm than playing the blame game or waging unwinnable wars. Viewing change as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a setback, might also help you to turn that frown upside down!
Manage your stress
Improving your ability to handle stress will go a long way to helping you deal with change. Try practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in other relaxation techniques, take a nature walk, have a relaxing bath, listen to calming music. Consider talking to friends or family for advice or emotional support, or by investigating options for professional help.
Don’t forget, it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed if there is too much happening at once. This is when your best approach is to put in place the things that are going to get you through it with as much ease and comfort and as less stress as possible.
When many problems occur at the same time in our lives, all demanding our attention and all needing to be solved, it can become very overwhelming. The brain can experience “fog”, a feeling of trying to think through thick mud. Thoughts that previously followed a seemingly ordered sequence become disordered, words easily found and used as part of that thinking sequence seem have disappeared out of our memory banks and the process of coherent thinking becomes quite illusive. The physical reaction to this kind of mental stress can be quite pronounced. We find it easier to pick up a virus; aches and pains in the body are accentuated, and headaches or migraines develop.
So what would help? Where do we start, how do we start, what is the first thing to? How do we reconnect with our power? How do we move from helplessness, to acceptance and all that that holds, and then onto resolving a problem in such a way as to bring about the highest good for all concerned?
Feng Shui says to declutter and the disruptive energy that is created when our homes are cluttered up with untidy piles of this and that will dissipate. Washing/ironing not done, newspapers lying over tables and couches, beds not made, floors not swept and dirty dishes littering the bench with, at the hottest time of the year, many buzzing flies finding great delight in breakfast, lunch and dinner being available in one place! While it might not seem the obvious place to start, thought patterns respond better in an atmosphere and energy of order. So get to and get tidying, even if and perhaps because, it is the thing you least feel like doing. Take one room at a time starting with the laundry and while the first load is washing start on the next room.
Next, get a clean piece of paper and your favourite pen/s. Make a list of all the things in your life that need attention in no particular order – just as they come to you. No need to do anything more than that. Getting them out of your head and on to paper will make some space in your mind to let solutions manifest themselves. It seems that we can be more objective when we have written things down and it certainly relives the stress. Solutions may even present themselves to you as you write. Otherwise, look at them again when you are feeling less overwhelmed and see what answers turn up.
Now make some space in your day to be quiet. For those who have small children, work full time or just seem to have a hectic life, taking a bath may be the only time you get to yourself but valuable time it is. Eileen Caddy, one of the co-founders of the Findhorn community in Scotland, found the only place she could be alone was in the toilet block! After a busy day she would go to the toilet block at the caravan park where the community was first set up and ended up channelling 3,000 messages during her time there. So, if you are determined to get time to yourself it can be done!
Going out into nature is also a good way of letting the stress slide off your psyche and being nurtured enough to get the thought processes going a coherent way. Attending a meditation group, taking a swim in the sea (whilst warm enough of course), a walk on the beach, in the bush or even the local park. Getting fresh air, some sunshine as well as personal space away from the intensity of the home/work environment makes space in the mind for problem solving.
If you have a friend or family member that you can go to and let off steam and be unconditionally accepted then don’t be afraid you are being a burden. If they are not able to be there for you, they will tell you. If they don’t tell you and it is going to add stress to their lives then they, too, need to work this process and learn how to say ‘No’.
The most powerful part of the process and perhaps the most difficult for most of us is acceptance. To accept the situation and/or persons involved without resistance is a vital step in the resolving process. In Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now in the chapter The Meaning of Surrender -Acceptance of the Now (page 171), he says:
“To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation. It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is. Inner resistance is to say “no” to what is, through mental judgement and emotional negativity. It becomes particularly pronounced when things “go wrong,” which means that there is a gap between the demands or rigid expectations of your mind and what is. That is the pain gap. If you have lived long enough, you will know that things “go wrong” quite often. It is precisely at those times that surrender needs to be practiced if you want to eliminate pain and sorrow from your life. Acceptance of what is immediately frees you from mind identification and thus reconnects you with Being. Resistance is the mind.”
It may be necessary to do all these steps at once, to add a few more or to change the order and start with acceptance. Whatever way works for you, approaching problem solving from the place of peace and with the powerful assurance that we are making the right choices is a transforming experience.
As females, we are conditioned to be "real women" by the giving of our nurturing abilities to our partners, children and even, if necessary, elderly parents. We are praised and approved of by parents, partners, friends, siblings and society if we wait hand and foot on someone who happens to be physically or emotionally unwell. We are applauded for putting our own needs to one side, to consider the needs of the unwell person, what might help them and assist them in their recovery.
A taboo subject in many circles is the elephant that sits in the middle of the lounge room that everyone has to walk around but nobody will acknowledge is there. This elephant is the alcoholic, the drug addict, the gambler, the shopaholic, the sex addict, the over eater, the under eater, and even the depressed person, the angry person, the harshly critical and resentful person – generally the member of the family whose behaviour continually causes friction, tension and chaos. Through fear, this behaviour gets left unacknowledged and is not dealt with. The whole family suffers through this unhealthy lack of acknowledgement and everyone learns to live with secrets.
No matter what, the only person we can change is ourselves. So that’s the only place to start – by redefining our own self-image, self-worth and redefining our own needs. Be honest about the elephant in the lounge – if you are in an abusive situation and are keeping it to yourself, tell someone about it even if it is only an anonymous phone call to the Samaritans. Nothing will ever change if you keep quiet about your pain. There are also many wonderful helping organizations from like AlAnon (supporting the friends/loved ones of alcoholics) that can be accessed through Citizens’ Advice Bureau. Counselling, support groups, assertiveness courses, self-awareness courses are also helpful in building up the inner person to cope with and even love the person who is causing so much chaos and distress. And life coaching is a fabulous way to work though your current issues and create a life of peace and happiness.
Once you have become honest about what is going on allow yourself to be led to the right person or therapy for creating a safe place within to boost your self-worth and self-image to the strongest, most amazing place you have ever experienced. This will give you strength to address unhealthy issues and if necessary, make changes. Doing it alone can be difficult but with help, startling life changes will occur on all levels and life can again become an exciting and interesting experience.
Redefining “real women”, women who care enough about themselves to make the necessary changes (inside and out) to live a healthy and happy life, will not only liberate us but those who follow after us – our children.
Early last year I started a new full time job – away from home this time which was a bit of a stretch to my little grey cells and to my energy levels. But it struck me at the beginning of the second week that I was really in new movie in my life. As I pondered this I realised that in this new movie I could bring in all the things I had learned from the last movie that sustained me and brought me peace, happiness and closer to the true essence of myself. And because I had learned how to do this over a long period of time, I could now do it even quicker and save myself a lot of pain and anguish when it came to adjusting to the newness of the role and some of the things I might not be happy with. I didn’t have to take a long time to learn how to overcome what I didn’t like as I had developed that ability in the last movie, and other abilities in the one before that, and the one before that! But I kept forgetting what I had learned and had to start all over again in succeeding movies. But not this time, this time I could choose to do things differently. And the first thing I remembered was to not take myself so seriously.
New work processes had to be learned, deadlines were looming, and it all seemed to be taking forever to learn all this new work. But who was really stressing the most over this? Me – not the management. They had been very quick to point out that they knew the new team I was part of would take some time to learn things and they were very laid back and supportive about it all. So what was the point of me stressing if they weren’t? So I lightened up, relaxed, took my time and the flow kicked in.
So really, any movie we are starring in and any new role we take on can be as happy or unhappy, peaceful or fearful, calm or anxious as we want it to be. If we have learned how to handle similar situations in the past it’s really a matter of remembering what and how we did that in the new situations. Then all we need do is practically apply all these amazing lessons so we don’t have to painfully go through them all again.
And the other exciting thing is, if we haven’t yet mastered the art of coping with change and starring in a new movie, we can learn!
When I used to go walking on the boardwalk around the beautiful Tauranga estuary (New Zealand), I passed a large, modern house set in a picturesque valley. It looked cosy, nestled amongst the lovely willow trees with a view over the estuary towards the city. Quite an idyllic spot I had always thought. Months later we were visiting friends whose house was on the hill high above the estuary and this house, and I was shocked to find that what I could see of it from this height was totally different from how it looked from the boardwalk. Instead of the trees being close to the house, they were further away and the piece of land that the house was built on was quite stark with hardly any grass. There was a huge and quite unsightly swimming pool to one side and, quite frankly, it did not look cosy and idyllic at all. It struck me that so often, that’s what happens in relating details of events and/or conversations that take place, when there is more than one participant/observer. The perceptions of what takes place can be vastly different.
Sometimes when my husband and I are talking about something that happened I wonder if we were both in the same place at the same time! It seems that he will see things so differently from me, and while an outright battle could ensue to find out who is right, we choose to decide that we just see things differently. There will be times when he fills in the blanks for me and I will fill in the blanks for him.
There will be times when choosing to perceive situations/people from our holiness (our spiritual mind) can literally save a life. Caroline Myss tells the story of one such event that was related to her by a lady who attended one of her seminars. This lady, we will call her Robyn, was in a traffic hold up one afternoon and realised that an accident had taken place a number of cars ahead of her. She closed her eyes and prayed for the people involved in the accident not knowing what exactly had taken place. The road was eventually cleared and she carried on her way. Some months later, there was a knock at her door. An unknown woman was standing there with a large bunch of flowers in her hand. Robyn invited her in and the woman related her story. She had been riding her bicycle one afternoon some months before when she had been knocked down by a car and seriously injured. She had a ‘near death experience’ and while her spirit was out of her body she looked around and could see only black energy rising from the cars held up by the accident (they were complaining about being held up). But then she saw white light rising out of one of the cars further back and floated over to see where it was coming from. She observed Robyn praying in her car and knew that this white light being generated was healing light and it was for her. She also made a mental note of the number plate of Robyn’s car. She went back into her body, was taken to hospital and eventually made a full recovery. Amazingly, she remembered Robyn’s number plate and was able to track down her name and address. She thanked Robyn profusely for choosing to perceive the accident as an opportunity to pray and not to become angry for being held up in traffic. As you can imagine, Robyn was profoundly touched and moved to tears.
Knowing that choosing our perception literately creates outcomes in our lives, is it not important to choose to perceive from our holiness (our spiritual mind) and not our egos? You could save your relationships … or perhaps a life.
Hi I'm Anna, I'm an experienced Life Coach and member of the ICF (International Coach Federation). I love helping people and couples realise their goals and dreams. With your hard work and focus, my guidance, and proven Life Coaching techniques, you can achieve all you desire.