When we are close to others it is inevitable that we are going to feel what they feel whether life hands them lemons or lemonade. We feel joy for our family members and friends when a happy relationship develops, they receive a financial windfall, a much longed-for baby arrives, etc. We delight with them as they go through spiritual and personal insights that transform and strengthen them and become an inspiration to us on our own journey. But what happens when they go through the difficult times? A marriage ending, falling out with a loved-one, a suicide attempt, a debilitating illness, becoming homeless … we can be thrown into their pain almost as acutely as if it were our own.
Those who play a major part in our lives, who make up the fabric and the tapestry of our stories, will always experience highs and lows and while we are in the process of becoming detached from ego and living from the place of love, the human dramas continue to be played out all around us. Living from the heart, evolving closer towards who we really are (Love) somehow creates more sensitivity to the vibrations around us. We can no longer ignore the pain of people and the planet; we can no longer dismiss the awful or the incomprehensible. We run the gauntlet of human emotions so intensely that it feels as though we live through four emotional seasons in one day! We can breathe a sigh of relief when we return to the comfort of our own home, be grateful that it’s not happening to us but what do we do with the residue of emotions and having our buttons pushed that have probably been triggered from our own similar experiences?
Firstly, a Mindfulness practice of some kind must be the foundation of moving into a more peaceful way of being. Starting the day with spiritual study, prayer and meditation is food for the soul and it calms the senses. While we all have the choice about how we do that, it is vital that we use something to remind us we are one with All That Is and we connect with that Self and the ancient wisdom still held within our cells when we go into the stillness.
Being able to ‘let it go’ will release us immeasurably. A wonderful book to help with this process is David Hawkins’ Letting Go. In this book you will learn how to be with your emotions safely, acknowledge their presence and then quietly, and without drama, let them go. To deny they are there, to try and suppress or repress them will cause them to come out in our physical bodies as illness of some kind. So learning the great ‘letting go’ art will transform our lives.
Evaluating carefully and with conscious awareness about where to spend emotional and physical energy is also very important. Cancel a planned lunch, ask that friend to arrange for someone else to drive him or her to an appointment, turn the computer/telephone/mobile off and watch an uplifting video/DVD or walk in nature or have a massage. Ask someone for what you need – whether it’s just to talk, have a coffee/juice with, or give you a back rub. All these (and others) will boost us physically and emotionally – and we can choose to do so without guilt.
Looking after ourselves while we are looking after others will keep us focused and available, strong and inspiring. How better to help others than this?
Hi I'm Anna, I'm an experienced Life Coach and member of the ICF (International Coaching Federation). I love helping people realise their goals and dreams. With your hard work and focus, my guidance, and proven Life Coaching techniques, you can achieve all you desire.