When many problems occur at the same time in our lives, all demanding our attention and all needing to be solved, it can become very overwhelming. The brain can experience “fog”, a feeling of trying to think through thick mud. Thoughts that previously followed a seemingly ordered sequence become disordered, words easily found and used as part of that thinking sequence seem have disappeared out of our memory banks and the process of coherent thinking becomes quite illusive. The physical reaction to this kind of mental stress can be quite pronounced. We find it easier to pick up a virus; aches and pains in the body are accentuated, and headaches or migraines develop.
So what would help? Where do we start, how do we start, what is the first thing to? How do we reconnect with our power? How do we move from helplessness, to acceptance and all that that holds, and then onto resolving a problem in such a way as to bring about the highest good for all concerned?
Feng Shui says to declutter and the disruptive energy that is created when our homes are cluttered up with untidy piles of this and that will dissipate. Washing/ironing not done, newspapers lying over tables and couches, beds not made, floors not swept and dirty dishes littering the bench with, at the hottest time of the year, many buzzing flies finding great delight in breakfast, lunch and dinner being available in one place! While it might not seem the obvious place to start, thought patterns respond better in an atmosphere and energy of order. So get to and get tidying, even if and perhaps because, it is the thing you least feel like doing. Take one room at a time starting with the laundry and while the first load is washing start on the next room.
Next, get a clean piece of paper and your favourite pen/s. Make a list of all the things in your life that need attention in no particular order – just as they come to you. No need to do anything more than that. Getting them out of your head and on to paper will make some space in your mind to let solutions manifest themselves. It seems that we can be more objective when we have written things down and it certainly relives the stress. Solutions may even present themselves to you as you write. Otherwise, look at them again when you are feeling less overwhelmed and see what answers turn up.
Now make some space in your day to be quiet. For those who have small children, work full time or just seem to have a hectic life, taking a bath may be the only time you get to yourself but valuable time it is. Eileen Caddy, one of the co-founders of the Findhorn community in Scotland, found the only place she could be alone was in the toilet block! After a busy day she would go to the toilet block at the caravan park where the community was first set up and ended up channelling 3,000 messages during her time there. So, if you are determined to get time to yourself it can be done!
Going out into nature is also a good way of letting the stress slide off your psyche and being nurtured enough to get the thought processes going a coherent way. Attending a meditation group, taking a swim in the sea (whilst warm enough of course), a walk on the beach, in the bush or even the local park. Getting fresh air, some sunshine as well as personal space away from the intensity of the home/work environment makes space in the mind for problem solving.
If you have a friend or family member that you can go to and let off steam and be unconditionally accepted then don’t be afraid you are being a burden. If they are not able to be there for you, they will tell you. If they don’t tell you and it is going to add stress to their lives then they, too, need to work this process and learn how to say ‘No’.
The most powerful part of the process and perhaps the most difficult for most of us is acceptance. To accept the situation and/or persons involved without resistance is a vital step in the resolving process. In Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now in the chapter The Meaning of Surrender -Acceptance of the Now (page 171), he says:
“To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation. It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is. Inner resistance is to say “no” to what is, through mental judgement and emotional negativity. It becomes particularly pronounced when things “go wrong,” which means that there is a gap between the demands or rigid expectations of your mind and what is. That is the pain gap. If you have lived long enough, you will know that things “go wrong” quite often. It is precisely at those times that surrender needs to be practiced if you want to eliminate pain and sorrow from your life. Acceptance of what is immediately frees you from mind identification and thus reconnects you with Being. Resistance is the mind.”
It may be necessary to do all these steps at once, to add a few more or to change the order and start with acceptance. Whatever way works for you, approaching problem solving from the place of peace and with the powerful assurance that we are making the right choices is a transforming experience.
Hi, I'm Anna Bradbury and I'm an experienced Life Coach and member of ICF (International Coach Federation). I love helping people and couples realise their goals and dreams. With your hard work and focus, my guidance, and proven Life Coaching techniques, you can achieve all you desire.